


Follow the Waynes, they said! It'll be fun, they said.

by SicknessAndStealth



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), Bonding, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dick Grayson Has ADHD, Dick Grayson is a Ray of Sunshine, Domestic Batfamily (DCU), Family Bonding, Good Sibling Cassandra Cain, Good Sibling Damian Wayne, Good Sibling Dick Grayson, Good Sibling Duke Thomas, Good Sibling Jason Todd, Good Sibling Tim Drake, One Shot, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rated T For Jason Todd, Wayne Gala (DCU), hahahahhahhaa, no beta we die like men, or not....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26369230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SicknessAndStealth/pseuds/SicknessAndStealth
Summary: The Wayne family is known for a lot a lot of things. Messing up galas and scaring reporters definitely IS one of them, but that's not important right now.
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Other(s), Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Duke Thomas & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne
Comments: 18
Kudos: 252





	Follow the Waynes, they said! It'll be fun, they said.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Bat Out Of Hell](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23685658) by [arguably_somaya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arguably_somaya/pseuds/arguably_somaya). 



**Just Another Wayne Gala....**

by [WITHHELD FOR SAFETY PURPOSES]

I had never considered myself particularly lucky, to be honest. I wasn't unlucky, per se, but I wasn't notably fortunate. That is, until I was forcibly dragged from the food table at the latest Wayne gala by Bruce's eldest child for an exclusive interview. I will never think to call myself unlucky ever again. 

Dick Grayson-Wayne is the most charismatic man in the universe, and I will stand by that until the day I die. He's witty, charming and so insanely attractive that it should be illegal. There's something that can't be captured from far off camera lenses and TMZ video clips, though, and that is the absolutely feral way this man acts around all of his siblings at once. Now, we know that the Wayne siblings are wild, it would be impossible not to be with six children who were brought from incredibly different backgrounds. Experiencing this chaos first-hand, though, is a whole other thing. But I'm getting ahead of myself, let's start at the beginning of the evening, directly after my kidnapping.

As Dick pulled me to a secluded corner of the ballroom, I was still in shock. _The_ Dick Grayson-Wayne just pulled me away from my shrimp plate with a grin on his face and a mischievous glint in his eyes. He plopped his hands (which, by the way, were perfect? Somehow? I didn't know that a person's hands could be perfect, but here we are.) on my shoulders, looked me dead in the eye and smiled the most genuine smile I've ever seen on anyone, much less a rich socialite. 

"So," he started, "who do you wanna drop in on first?" He was almost literally vibrating with excitement. I was a bit confused by the question, so I asked him to clarify. He sighed, but his exasperation was replaced almost immediately.

"Which of my family members do you wanna bother first?" And when I say I was stunned to silence, because wow. Not only was I getting an exclusive with Dick Grayson-Wayne, but I get to meet the rest of the Wayne siblings too? It's a Gotham journalist's wet dream! So, after I got over my initial shock (I'm sure I looked like a child in a candy store, but Dick didn't mention it), I decided to go in order of who I saw first. I spotted Timothy across the room at an empty table, so I pointed him out. 

"Ohhh Timmy!" Dick clapped his hands together excitedly. "Good choice, I knew I picked the right person!" He grabbed my arm (again) and dragged me across the room (again) to Timothy's table. 

Tim didn't seem to notice us at first, too engrossed with whatever was occupying his tablet screen. In fact, he didn't even notice us after Dick, and, after quite a bit of convincing, myself called his name. I was almost ready to give up hope. That was until Dick tapped my shoulder to get my attention and said five (seemingly magic) words, just loud enough for only Tim and me to hear.

"Hey Timmy, wanna play tag?" Was what awoke Timothy from his trance. He quickly turned off his tablet and stood up, looking at his older brother with an almost venomous glare.

"I hate you," he huffed. "I hate you so much." Dick cackled like a madman.

"You _looooooove_ me, Timbo!" He slung his arm around Tim's shoulder. The younger groaned, sounding like the teenager he was. 

"I have _work_ to do, Dick! The company has a bunch of huge projects and-" Dick shushed him, holding a finger up to his mouth. 

"Would you rather miss the chaos that will ensue during this game of tag or finish your dumb spreadsheet?" He knew he'd won the battle, and Tim wasn't going to fight it anymore.

"Fine. But I'll only play if you stop eating all of the cereal in the house for a week! _ONE WEEK,_ Dick!" The elder laughed, but agreed. It was only then that Timothy seemed to notice me. He smiled tiredly and shook my hand. "I see Dick decided it's time for an exclusive." He shook his head a bit. I swear I heard him mutter something along the lines of, "I can't believe he'd drag a poor reporter into this shit," but that's neither here nor there.

As Dick searched the room for his other siblings, I got a good while to talk to Timothy. While I can't disclose all of the information we discussed, I can confirm that Wayne Enterprises has some huge projects coming up, and the city will be in better shape than ever before. Furthermore (figured I should sound at least a little fancy in this), I did get a bit of insight on the earlier conversation. Apparently, games of tag in the Wayne household can get pretty... intense, to say the least, and missing a single one has the potential to basically be like missing winning an award for something you've worked your whole life for. And if I wasn't nervously excited before, well I certainly was then. Just then, Dick had found his second and third victims, so he dragged me and Tim back to the food tables. 

Now, to say that I was surprised to see Cassandra Cain-Wayne and Damian Wayne in the middle of an almost aggressive staring contest would be an understatement. I have never seen two people look at one another with so much disdain in my entire life. When asked what it was all about, it was Tim who answered, with a short, "They're fighting for the last cookie." 

Looking down at the food table, I noticed one pristine looking cookie, sitting directly in the middle of a tray of crumbs. I could see why they were fighting over it, the cookie alone looked better than any dish I've ever seen. Dick, on the other hand, couldn't be bothered waiting, as he grabbed the cookie from the tray.

"Hey!" Both kids yelled. Damian looked like he was ready to break his older brother's kneecaps, while Cassandra just looked peeved and annoyed. Dick shushed them and broke the cookie into near perfect halves and gave one to each sibling.

"Alfred can make some more later, but split it for now." Before either could argue (which they both looked ready to do), he got to the point. " We're gonna play tag, you guys in?" And, like magic, both siblings' arguments died in their throats. Cassandra gave a quick nod, accompanied by a small smile that could light up the room, while Damian only offered a "Tt..." but no further arguments. Dick was delighted as he bounced, honest to god bounced, over to his younger siblings and hugged them both.

"Yes! Two more and then we're off!" He ran off in search of the other two while Cassandra and Damian eyed me with two wildly different emotions. Cassandra seemed almost excited to talk to me, and she did strike up conversation after she finished her half of the cookie. Though she is of few words, what she does say is very interesting.

"Your eyes." She stared intensely into my eyes. I flushed, nerves taking over my body. We both stood frozen until she said, "Pretty. Very pretty blue," and smiled at me. I let out a breath (it was seriously the most intense twenty seconds of my life) and thanked her. After that, she told me about her ballet lessons, which she seems to enjoy immensely, and then went off to talk to Tim.

Damian, on the other hand, stared at me with a wary look in his eye, his entire body was tense as I walked toward him. I didn't speak in a condescending tone, because just because he's a child doesn't mean he won't understand. I asked how he was, not particularly expecting an answer. I was pleasantly surprised.

"Cain's part of the cookie was larger than mine." He huffed, and sent a glare to his eldest brother that held no actual malice. I asked if he thought Dick did it on purpose, to which he replied, "Of course not! Richard would never intentionally demean me in such a way. Which is why I expect you to never bring this up with him. He will feel guilty about it and that is not my intention with this complaint. I am simply trying to make conversation." Personally, I think that is the absolute cutest thing in the world that Damian wants to spare his brother's feelings, though I would never say it outloud. We made casual conversation, with Damian correcting my grammar once or twice, until Dick came bounding over to lead us to the last pair we needed to find.

While Jason Todd-Wayne had always been the resident trouble-maker of the family, Duke Thomas was a fairly new addition, and his place in the band of misfits hasn't made itself known yet. So seeing him on Jason's shoulders trying to grab onto one of the chandeliers in the darkest corner of the ballroom was just as surprising to me as it should have been. My shock was quickly redirected, as Dick cleared his throat, loudly and obviously, and very soon the two mischief-makers were standing in front of us, one looking sheepish and apologetic and the other trying not to burst into laughter. Duke sighed.

"Are you mad...?" He was looking at Dick nervously, and beside him, Jason looked like he was going to pee himself.

"I'm not mad," Dick started, and Duke's face betrayed the relief he felt, until, "...just disappointed."

Duke's entire face dropped, he looked damn near tears, if I'm honest. Jason, on the other hand, started literally rolling on the floor with laughter. The other siblings looked very close to doing the same, and Duke (and probably myself) just looked confused. Before either of us could ask, Jason spoke up, through his teary laughter.

"Y-You fucking dipshit! He's not upset at all- _oh my god_ ," he wiped a tear from his face. "He's literally about to ask us to do something a million times worse than _ANYTHING_ we were planning tonight."

"What are you..." Duke started, and then realization took over his face. "Ohhhh... Tag. Okay," he smiled at Dick and then, "Hey- wait! That was a dick move, man! Pun intended!" The rest of the family finally burst with laughter. 

Between breaths, Dick managed an, "I'm sorry, Duke, I really am!" as Duke punched his arm repeatedly. After they'd all calmed down, I finally got up the nerve to ask why tag was so intense in their household. In hindsight? Probably the worst decision I've ever made or ever will make. 

I immediately felt six pairs of eyes on me, and while we all know they can be mischievous, this felt different. There was a sort of... darkness to their stares, one you can only get after seeing many tragedies. At the time, I had no idea what could bring on that kind of look in the eyes of these siblings. I am enlightened now, and I shall enlighten you.

"How about we just show you?" Tim said, putting his tablet away for good. The others nodded, and I watched as they all got into a circle. I felt a hand on my arm, expecting Dick, but was surprised to see it belonged to Jason. 

"You should stick with me, I'll stay on the ground longest," he said, and dear lord if that sentence didn't make me want to turn away and run as far as possible. I couldn't, though. I'm a journalist, and i had to do ANYTHING to get my story. So I nodded. 

They all closed into a tight circle, with me sandwiched between Jason and Damian, who both looked ready for something much more intense than a game of tag. "Okay," Dick started, "we all know the rules. No weapons, no human shields, and if Bruce catches you, it's an automatic out. Since this is a gala, in order to win, you can't be caught before the gala's over. Now," Dick turned to me. "I need you to count to three." I was confused, but complied anyway.

One...

Two...

Three...

"NOES GOES!!!" All six siblings screamed at the same time, touching their fingers to their noses. Chaos ensued.

"Damian did it last!"

"I certainly did _NOT_! Thomas was the last to-"

"Nuh-uh! It was Cass, definitel-" 

"It's never Cass, dipshit! It was Tim who-"

"GUYS!" The cacophony was ended with one word. Cass stood in the middle of the circle, pointing to Dick. "Dick was last." The man nodded sheepishly.

"Guess I'm it! You guys know what to do." He shooed them away and closed his eyes. It honestly felt like I blinked and they were all gone, I had never seen any group of people disperse that quickly. Jason grabbed me and pulled me to where he was planning to hide.

I'm not going to lie to you guys, the whole game was a blur. But, I do remember some very important parts, so I hope that's enough. 

Jason and I were found very quickly, and he told me to just stay where I was, as, "the whole show would be visible from this spot". He sprinted off as Dick legitimately flipped after him. Like bonafide back handsprings and cartwheels, the whole nine yards. As a reminder, we are in the middle of a gala here. While they were meeting in a secluded area, the game is being played in the middle of the ballroom, disturbing everyone. Jason sprinted past the food table as Dick front-flipped onto it and stuck the landing. Jason laughed at him, obviously thinking he'd won, when a small blur dropped down on top of him from the chandelier above his head. He tried desperately to get away as he realized what was happening, but it was too late. Damian was on top of him. Jason has made the mistake of thinking he was the first one Dick went after.

"Tag." Damian smirked evilly as he slid off of Jason's shoulders. The older boy groaned in anguish. The other guests looked on in equal parts amazement and confusion. Bruce Wayne, on the other hand, looked furious. The three boys spotted him quickly and sprinted off before he could catch them, meaning their game was still on.

Now, about here is where things get a little fuzzy. All the excitement may have messed up my memory a bit, but this part I'm 100% sure of.

Tim was who the boys had gone after next, and they spent no time at all looking for him. The boys decided to split up to cover more ground, which was deemed unnecessary when Damian found Tim half asleep on a barstool. He called his other brothers over to take pictures before waking and tagging him.

"I honestly just wanted to see if we could get Duke this time," was his reason for letting himself be caught, when asked later on.

After Tim shook himself awake, all four boys froze as they saw a blur dash by above them. Dick grinned. "Cassie, you're losin' it! We saw you move up there," he taunted the girl, adding a cackle for good measure. This didn't seem to be quite enough to shake her. At this point, I was trying not to cry because _oh my god there is a girl hiding on the chandeliers above all these rich people this can't be real-_ , but it was real. And the Wayne children are obviously not going to wait for me to get it together before continuing their game. Jason made that obvious when he whispered something in Dick's ear, to which the older man grinned and shared the idea with his other brothers, who agreed readily.

The surrounding socialites looked very nervous and very excited all at once. They watched as Dick walked a bit away from the group and Jason made a platform with his hands. The two younger brothers followed in the eldest's footsteps. Dick then ran directly at Jason and used his hands to boost himself up to the closest chandelier, and the other two brothers followed quickly. Their audience gave gasps and cheers. Jason stayed on the ground and followed them from below. 

I couldn't see them very well up in the chandeliers, but they were moving like lightning. I saw blurs of each sibling, all of them calling taunts to their only sister. Eventually, though, Dick caught her in mid-air, sending them both to the ground. I swear my heart stopped, and so did everyone else's in the room. Thankfully, they planned for this, because Jason was there to catch them both. Tim and Damian came down safely, both smiling triumphantly at Cass, who was pouting. She turned to Dick. 

"Did you mean it?" She looked upset, hurt, even. I assume she was talking about Dick's earlier comment. He smiled at her.

"Of course not, Cassie, I was just tryin' to antagonize you," he feigned hurt when she punched his arm. 

It gets blurry again here, but I can tell you this. Duke Thomas is a force to be reckoned with. From what I can remember, not a single one of them got close enough to tag him. It's like he was always two steps ahead of them. There were flour bombs and slippery floors and he even almost got tagged by Bruce (who had given up on trying to stop them a half hour ago) on purpose soley so they couldn't win. By the end of gala, Duke had won and the other five Wayne children, as well as a good amount of the guests, were covered head to toe in the aftermath of his pranks. 

Everyone but Dick and Duke was upset, and barely spoke to me after the gala. Tim gave a few words but that's all. Duke only bragged to me, saying, "I might not be able to beat them at anything else, but even before moving to the manor I had never lost a game of tag. They can change the rules all they want, but this is my game." He grinned and went to boast his victory to his siblings once more.

Dick came back to talk to me, and i finally mustered up the courage to ask why he chose me. He just smiled and said, "You look like someone who would tell an actual story about this, not just to turn it into money." He then patted my shoulder and walked to meet up with the rest of his family.

I don't know what the eldest Wayne son saw in me that made him think that way, but I'm glad he did. The Waynes are Gotham's sweethearts and main source of entertainment, yes, but they're also people. Terrifying and over the top, but still people. I hope you read this and think of the Waynes as people and not just celebrities. I also hope that you take away one more thing from this...

Duke Thomas is really fucking good at tag.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!! i havent written fanfic in a long time and this felt so nice, lemme know if you have any more ideas or prompts or whatever and i might make this a series!! please comment, it goes a long way :D have a good day!!


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